In my last post, I discussed the power of words in parenting. In this post, I am going to talk about the power of words in marriage. I have discussed some of this in previous marriage posts, but I feel like this is a topic worthy of its own blog space. 😊
The Bible says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21 (NIV)
How can we apply this verse to our marriages?
I have heard of couples, in the midst of fighting or everyday life say hurtful things like:
“I hate you!”
“I wish I never married you!”
“I want a divorce!”
How do you think these kinds of words makes your spouse feel? How would it make you feel if your spouse said these things to you?
As a new bride (many years ago), I made the inward commitment to try to never say anything to my spouse that I would deeply regret. Of course there is always forgiveness in Christ and you can ask your spouse for forgiveness for things rashly spoken, but even if your spouse forgives you, sometimes those hurtful words can linger for years. I have not been perfect in this area, but being more prudent in my words is really something I strive for.
Another area in my life that I try to work on is encouraging my spouse. Who doesn’t need more encouragement? Encouragement can bring LIFE to any person, including your spouse! My husband’s love and affirmation of me has strengthened my self-esteem tremendously.
This brings me to a different (but related) point, how many times have you heard a husband say to his wife, “You’re beautiful” and the wife responds, “Oh whatever… you have to say that…” I have heard interactions like this more than a few times in my life.
It pains me to hear one spouse compliment their partner and it falls on deaf ears. The reality of it is, your spouse DOES NOT HAVE TO compliment you. They choose to compliment you because they love you. Don’t discourage them by belittling their words. If you choose to receive them into your heart, their words can bring life to you!
I have been through tremendous body-shape changes having 5 pregnancies. My husband has always encouraged me and has never made me feel fat. He loves and affirms me with his words, but I also have to make a choice to believe him in my heart and mind.
Besides physical beauty, there are so many other areas that couples can encourage each other in…gifts that you see in each other, acts of service, parenting, their work ethic, etc.
Married couples, if you have made mistakes in this area, it’s ok…ask for forgiveness and move on.
Today is a NEW DAY!
I really encourage you to think of one thing you can do to encourage your spouse with your words today! Write a note, send an email or a text, or just use your voice and let them know how much you love and appreciate them!
(In my next post, I will talk about how to apply this scripture to other relationships in your life!)